Top Wedding Do's:
Do create a complete and accurate guest list before you start looking for a venue. You don’t want to book a venue, realize it’s to small for your count and have to cut down on your guest list.
Do set a realistic wedding budget beforehand. Weddings are expensive—if you have a small budget don’t invite 300 people. Typically weddings run at least $100/per person and this cost doesn’t include your dress or location.
Do plan on booking your wedding venue / location a year out. You’ll have your pick of a variety of locations and you may even get your ideal date.
Do get a wedding planner, at the least a “day of” coordinator (though “month of” is a more accurate term). You don’t want your mom chasing down the bridal party for photos instead of seeing you put on your wedding dress.
Do pick your battles with family members. If flowers, cake, whatever, isn’t that important to you, let it go. Everyone will have an opinion on something. Fight for what’s important to you and don’t stress about the small stuff.
Do take a honeymoon. I know with the economy being with the way it is a lot of couples are pushing they’re honeymoon for a later date. Even if you can’t go on a big trip, take at least a few days at a nice bed and breakfast to enjoy some time alone, eat well, and sleep in.
Do take a step back a gigantic wedding step back. With all the details in planning your wedding, it can be easy to get absorbed in the microscopic details. Never forget the big picture—that this day is about sharing the love you’ve found with your mate and celebrating it with your family and friends. It’s really not about a certain shade of peach.
Do plan for your guests. As much as this day is about you two, there about 100+ people there that need to be taken care of. Signage, welcome drinks (doesn’t need to be alcoholic), ample heaters for an outdoor wedding, starting the ceremony relatively on time, delicious, hot food are the things that matter to your guests. They won’t notice the flowers per say, but they will notice if the servers never filled their wine glass, if they’re freezing (they will go home early) and if they have to wait around for a hour for the ceremony to start on a hot day.
Do pick your music at least a month before the wedding. Finding the right song for the processional/recession, first dance, parent dances etc, takes time. Provide a clear list to the DJ/band. If you need help ask them, they do weddings all the time and they might have the perfect song for your first dance.
Top Wedding Don’ts:
Don’t forget your groom. He has opinions and this is his wedding too. Somehow I don’t think he envisioned wearing a pink polka dot bow tie for his wedding day. Respect his ideas. The wedding should be about the couple, not just the bride.
Don’t take a brigade of people with you when you try on wedding dresses. They’re opinions will confuse you and cause you much more stress (you know what looks best on you and what feels best). If anything, I suggest going at least 2 times to look at dresses by yourself. After you’ve figured out the style your looking for or have a couple of strong contenders bring your mom or your maid of honor to make the final decision.
Don’t wait until the last minute to do the seating chart. It will take you a lot longer than you think.
Don’t attempt to do your flowers. It’s a project that has to be done right before your wedding and flowers are finicky. It will also take you way longer than you think.
Don’t incorporate a tradition just because its “tradition.” If you don’t like cake, and don’t like the wedding cake sentiment, skip it. I’ve done sundae cuttings, peach cobbler cuttings or no cutting at all. It’s your wedding, don’t be pushed into doing anything that doesn’t resonate with you and your fiancĂ©.
Blog and list idea's from Kelly Oshiro, an event designer and wedding planner based in Santa Barbara.
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